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Start Meesic

26 Jun
It was a Sunday late afternoon and i had just quaffed a glass of  mango juice post delicious self cooked meal. Madras climate was having its moodswings,mostly complying with the day’s name. I didn’t have any collector work to do,adhunalai commenced my customary death-by-tvprograms practice.  Not before i was done with skipping channels at the speed of bullet shot by Rajnikanth, i was caught in Bermudas mind triangle.

[Bermudas mind triangle is the zone in brain when you disappear in rubbish thoughts because of heavy lunch while reading/watching something. Commonly observed before siesta ]

There are many a times when you utter ‘How the f@#k this song has got to do with the story line?’ while watching a tamil movie. Likewise am not sure how i drowned in thoughts about job in a Call centre.

[Don’t close the link already. This post has got nothing to do with call centre ]

Adhunala i was thinking why the job irks that much. Let me get the facts straight: You get a sore throat; you’re not allowed to yawn between the calls; talking to lonely people about their lives and more.

Please don’t kadha-vittufy you’re proficient in English and communication skills, adhunala you’re working at a call centre.

To give a vague relation, the job is worse than ‘entering the bathroom  not only to find there is no paste left for brushing, but also the last person who used it didn’t bother to throw it away in trash’ . Adhunala i was wondering if there are jobs worse or equally annoying as it. Not before the question  faded partially, i stumbled upon a infamous tamil music channel while watching.

Rekindling the past

The advent of music channels (MTV, Channel V, ) has not only ushered in a new genre of entertainment, but also created a new breed of stars – video jockeys or VJs as they are popularly called. Mass/visual communication students commonly become VJ’s. Infact there are even colleges which gives training in jockeying only.

[But in an ideal alternative universe i.e in Namma area]

When it comes to Tamil channels, it goes without saying ‘Pepsi Ungal choice’ is nothing but  Himalaya saadhanai. It was rumoured people wanted to build temple for forever y00th Uma,but the debate ended in kalavaram since few wanted to build Muslim temples and not the Hindu one. Crazy buggers!
Adhunala what am saying is this VJs possess talent, it is cool profession and all ok sar , but vJs in TN  beg to differ.

To quote in Ramana style-Tamizh naatula motham, <Believe me, I tried> , will be tedious.The numbers are mindboggling. The whole thing is such a gamble. I wouldn’t say they are nothing but malapropos. But on the other hand Ad Libbing, Talking, originality is so extraneous to the vJs. Okay,that wasn’t me.

If there was a race for the most fake things, TN  VJs won’t just win but also create guiness,limca,pepsi records. Oh btw 2nd will be WWF (I know ! Ugly truth) followed by Gowri Khan’s botox smile.
I thought the questions asked were stupid .But the amazing answers were worse.

Consider the scenario –

You have logged into IRCTC site to book a ticket to a godforsaken place trip (before a month) on a very dry-muhurthamless-vacationless day of the year. Yet to your surprise what you see is < 43 W/L >. Your left part of the brain ceases to smile, while right-side refuses to vent out. You take breath for 3 secs. Then you go FFFUUUUUUUU and oppugn  ‘HOWWW‘.

That is the reaction you experience when you listen to the callers. Regular callers. Sigh.
Ganesh (a regular caller) might not know what his father’s designation is, but he never forgets to ask what VJ Shilpa has for breakfast. #Ngothadei

They are so annoying that i wanted to change the whole system by reintroducing the thopplan’s pugar petti . But am nothing but a venna vetti. Adhunala i conceptualized a troll convo between VJs and the nakkal nayagan-kindal king G.Mani disguised in four roles. Maybe this is how one should answer to their blunt-cliched questions

I’d love to translate, but it is best read in Tamil. Sorry folks

#1 [Vaazhthalam vaanga] – For people who adds 4356 friends in FB and wishes them daily

Arsha : Indha nigazhchi vandhu vaazhthalam vanga. Neenga yaruku venam vaazhthu solalaam. Namma first caller ta pesuvoam
Subbaiya : Good morning oppicer naa subbaiya pesaraen!
Arsha : Good morning.Yaaru pesareenga.
Subbaiya Kaekaraan paaru kaenaa paya madiree oru kelvi ya. Adhu munadiyae sollitaen da komutti thalaya.
Arsha : *hahahaha* Sollu subbu, yaaru ku wish panna poreenga
Subbaiya : Subbu,kibbu naa. Chapppu chappu nu aranjuduvaen
Arsha : Seri yaaru ku birthday nu sollunga
Subbaiya : En pakathu veetukaraanoda moonavadhu pondatti ku parthudaaeee, nee poi cake vetta poriyaaa
Arsha : hello..konjam tv volume kammmi panreengaala
<call gets disconnected>

#2 [Ladies choice]  – For Aunties who has nothing to do after sending their 5th std kid to school and Husband to Bank

Kooja : Idhu unga ladies choice kooja. Namma first caller paapoma. Yaaru pesareenga
Idea manimegalai : Mankistha kinkistha, kinkistha payastha
Kooja : Sweet name. Neenga enna tips kodukka poreenga
Idea manimegalai : Potato chips, Vazhakkai chips
Kooja : Haiyouuuu. Chips illa tips-u.
Idea manimegalai : Therium di. Adadadaada tensun-appa- tensun
Kooja : Neenga rumba tamasha pesareenga. Enga tips sollunga paapom
Idea manimegalai : Night cutting pottu thoongaradhuku munadi, oru paper-roast saaptu paduthaaa liver-ku rombaaaaa nalladhuuu
Kooja : Hiii nammalam orae settu
Idea manimegalai : Aaaam periyaa shaving settu.. Namma ooruku naaai pudikaara vandi varattum unna dhaan mudhala pudichu kodukka poreengaa
Kooja : Halo..hello..konjam volume kammmi panreengaala

<call disconnected>

#3 [Hi Kutties] – PG 13

Praveena : Hi kutty, idhu unga praveena
Kundalakesi : aahaaaaan. Paadai la pora  vayasula praveeeeeeeenaaaaa
Praveena : Kutti how’re you? Which class you’re studying?
Kundalakesi : Dei..dei..di. Naalu engliss paper maenjuttu film kaatriyaaa neee
Praveena : Seri kutty enna rhyme paadaporeengaaa
Kundalakesi : Hogaaya hogaaya..oh manju..oh nenju…[BLASTING PITCH] HOGAYYAAAAA !
Praveena :Romba azhaaga padineenga
Kundalakesi : Adaa idhu paravalla..soseeyaal matter pannikalam.. ada divorce case laaam entaa varudhu paaa..
Praveena : Ippa oru joke sollunga (begins to get frustrated)
Kundalakesi : Dei. Di.Indha dakkalti vellaaa lam enkitta vechukaadha
Praveena : Kutty tv volume kammi pannunga..Achachoo call cut aaiduchae

Final showdown. Mani enters the studio, stands behind the Vj

#4 [Anbe Anbe] – For Soup bois who talk about their crushes as if they were lovers

Udhay : Hello yaaru engirundhu pesareenga, enna panreenga.
Azhagu raja : Dei jimbalakadi bumpaaa africaan ungil
Udhay : Unga lover enna panraanga
Azhagu raja : Dei idhaa katchi kaaran paatha enna nenaappaaan
Udhay : Inga namma kooda Nisha irukaanga.
Nisha : Hiii raja
Azhagu raja  : Hiii ladeees ladeees . I three love youuu yaa
Nisha  : Cho chweet. Unga rendu peru laa neenga dhana modhalla propose pannadhu. Avangala nenachu oru paatu paadunga
Azhagu raja : apdiyellam onnum illingo. En akkkaaa magaleee indhu
Udhay : Ungaluku oru koschen
Azhagu raja : Vandhutaan da, Wash basin vaayan
Udhay : Unga love ku oppose panna enna panuveenga
Azhagu raja : Maa. Avala na en heart la fix pannitaen. *sings* Mere tere thujko dhaiya
Udhay : Unaku enna paatu venum
Azhagu raja : Shaddup yuvar mouth. Yaara pathu avan ivan-gra
Udhay : Raja, konjam TV volume kammi panreengala
Azhagu raja (From Behind) : Ouiiiii.Indha darrr-u vellaaam enta venam carpet mandayaa. Phone vayir pinju rendu naal aagudhu
Udhay : *Realises* Inimae indha TV kae naa varalaaa
Azhagu raja : Government job resign pannitu porrar ro…. sorri pudicha mollai naai andha mukula poi ukandhu picha eduka podhu adhuku rausaa paaru… sound enna ma kudukidhu paru idhu

 20 secs later..

Azhagu raja @ Nisha : Gandha kannazhagi unaku ministry la edam paakaraen

Disclaimer –

“The characters in these convos are non- fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead belongs to sun music.”

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 26, 2012 in Funny (I think so), Sarcasm

 

2 responses to “Start Meesic

  1. Dhivhya S Aasuri

    June 27, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Damn Hilarious! 😀

     

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